Please enjoy this brilliant poem done by well loved and known children’s book author Edward Gorey. This can be put in the category of my creepy sense of humour which also holds a great deal of dead baby jokes. Now lets pretend that I did not spend a good hour trying to memorize this so that I may recite it at terribly awkward/inappropriate times.
The Ghastly Crumb Tinies: By Edward Gorey A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clair who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech. G is for George, smothered under a rug. H is for Hector, done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in the lake. J is for James who took lye, by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Nevil who died of ennui. O is for Olive, run through with an awl. P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titas who blew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor, squashed under a train. W is for Winie, embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice. Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in. Z is for Zilla who drank too much gin. Believe it or not we were reminded of this nice series that includes pictures, by the recent children’s book I bought, The Dangerous Alphabet, done by Neil Gaiman and Gris Grimly which was beautifully illustrated to include many disturbing scenes filled with dastardly things. Though because the river they are boating through includes a dead and decomposing broken dog, I might just hold off on the age appropriateness of 5 years and delay giving it to my niece and nephew. Though to balance the dog one of the first pictures involves men in trench coats luring the kids with candy then proceeding to toss children into burlap sacks and go sell them in the child slave market does make me want to educate my sisters offspring faster on such dangers. Now to convince my sister of their true educational value…
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There is something relaxing about listening to starlight by muse or mad world by Gary Jules and watching the snowy world outside right now. Kids howling and playing on the snow hill right outside, the trees swaying stiffly in the cold wind, girls speed walking towards their next class or exam, and the traffic going by in the distance. Or maybe its just that I don’t want to finish writing my 20 page paper. Yeah, that could be it too. Oh hey, on the topic of writing and procrastination I bring you, this.
Half an hour ago my mind was left on and started wandering all over the place. I kept imagining how things could go down if someone came on campus with guns and started shooting up the place. Started planning out, if I don’t end up shot before I get a chance to do anything, what my plan of defence would be. Started thinking of the library as a level in a videogame, thinking about good angles with clear shots and good cover. Morbid things have been a common thing for me to sit and imagine for hours since my high school years. Made the mistake of telling one of the waitresses at the restaurant I cooked at before and she though I was insane. I have commonly imagined friends and family dying from intense car crashes, freak accidents, serial killers or zombies. I can blame the first two on watching a bunch of the final destination movies and the third on my fascination with killers. My imagination just cant be shut off after it starts on the matter of gruesomeness unless there is some serious distractions. Don’t get me wrong, when family or friends start dying in my imagination I find it disturbing and I will sometimes let it worry me too much. Nothing like the pick-me-upper of imagining last words of a loved one after they get hit by a car, I just zone out like there is a movie being played in my head that I would never buy tickets to see. I always did hope that in a position of being attacked and stabbed that I would have enough strength to take them down with me. Sometimes I also wonder how much the worlds rate for necrophilia will increase upon the zombie apocalypse. If they are headless there is not too much to fear. I imagine the ones that want it when they can still bite back would decrease in number if you just give them time. I mean, that’s like trying to masturbate with a rattler. I do wonder if other people ever imagine such gross things out and have such strange questions. If you are queasy already I suggest you skip the next paragraph completely(or if you are under 18) and I will post again tomorrow or the day after, then on the weekend with looks at some new art(or my attempts of). So since we already are on a dirty subject matter and Jack is posting random porn(note to self, look up zombie porn after paper is written), if you think you can stomach worse , you should check out the web comics Sexy losers. It is incredibly disturbing and has a focus on terrible sex stuff like masturbation addiction, necrophilia, and moneys shots and worse, all with no taste executed. :p Or OGLAF which is like a comedic fantasy web comic that has a sex focus (all sexualities) This is a good starter for T-Girl. and this ones for.. well who doesn’t like dirty yaoi. Though, don’t get me wrong, none are porn or would likely be very useful as much, but they are worth endless laughs for me. Enjoy. By the time elementary school ended I still had a great deal of love for animals, though now a better understanding of how people loved to kill them. I became aware of the reasons beyond hunting for food that people would kill for and I was quite disturbed by it all, since I felt that we were just a type of animal. Also furthermore, in high school when I realized how little meat a person needed to eat. Yeah I know, I was a bit of a hippie for a child.
By the final year of elementary school I had just lost my best friend Justin to the lure of popularity and dating. I always thought I would marry the guy, its like we were in sync when playing sports together and it just seemed how the world worked that you would marry your best friend. When girls started to hone in however I found my submissive side come in and I backed off. I was scared about what would happen if I tried to put it to question. I was scared of asking him to just stay and keep hanging with me. Since I was no longer always with him, I was forced to spend much more time at home alone. Alone only in the sense though, since I had a good chunk of siblings running around our huge (and haunted) house. I started taking a liking to hanging out in my closet somewhere around this time and hanging out with my imaginary friend (:p). The strongest memory I have from when I was just getting into high school, was how alone I was at this time, but how it hit me hard when my older sister walked me to school and right to my classroom. It was something I held onto for a long time, even now it being one of the memories that kept me trying to keep tabs with her. Who would have figured it would mean so much to me, it was likely that mom told her she had to anyway, but oh well, I would rather think it was the first time my sister felt really like a sister. The next few years were full of reading, biking and hanging out (pretty much solely) with my girly friend whom had issues with considering me her best friend since, well, I was lame. I started getting into Wicca and fell into a depression. I spent many winter evenings sitting on the largest hill just outside town wishing to be back in magical B.C.. I sat watching the sky till I could barely feel my legs anymore, and long after I could no longer feel my face. I spent my summers sitting on one of the hills surrounding the pond, staring off into nothingness. I mourned not having the people who mattered so much to me in my life anymore. I napped while straddling trees out of town and felt the most comfort in being with nature. My home life seemed to be full of me standing there while everyone yelled and screamed at me, and me living in my closet or leaving the house for hours to just be alone somewhere. I remember one particularly scarring time when my mother told my step father that she was leaving and not coming back, slamming the door. Leaving me there. Abandoning me. I started to think about suicide. The world was cruel and full of hate, it was disgusting. Since it has become a fad to talk about some younger years I just decided that it would be better than just venting out anger everywhere. I am made of anger. And love, its so confusing. So heres my life in a nutshell, will find some time to come back and add some doodles of me and my shi
My mom was an awesome single mom, teaching my brother and I how to be capable, supporting, and unique. I suppose she was the epitome of a strong woman in my eyes and I had a great deal of respect for her. We lived in B.C. which was beautiful and still held so much of the wild when I was young. My family would go pick apples and berries, my mother would bake delicious things and we enjoyed fresh fruit and vegetables. It felt so pure. I would go on adventures being the leader to my two very tall cousins and many of the neighbourhood boys(previous to their parent realizing I was the cause of the ‘adventures‘ and them being banned from following me around all the time), searching for strange creatures among the wildlife just outside town the minute anyone left us alone. We managed to wander through deer, moose and bear territory unharmed day after day. Enjoying picnics while I was searching for the perfect bear to become my perfect steed or building a raft big enough for a group of us to go traveling. Sadly due to what has led to the failure of feminism for many years, my mom felt the need for a man and he became central. We ended up picking up and moving to Manitoba loosing my brother Michael, and gaining two brothers and a sister into my life. In Manitoba there seemed to be much less adventuring to be done. The wildlife wasn’t just right around the next tree or hill. Though I did enjoy swimming in and drinking(ergh) what is now called the beaver pond, and chasing white tailed deer and being one with nature, it was limited. Perhaps from the lack of mountain lions and bears near, I got lonely and started to develop a love for books, particularly fantasy. I ran out of books swiftly and numerous times picked up and read my mothers books, which I just couldn’t fully keep up with(like Anne McCaffrey with her style & sex and Piers Anthony with his extensive puns). I took a great deal of pleasure at this time working with my step father in his wood shop building things. I learned how to work hard and work with tools. Though I did like biking and fighting over who had authority in our area of town with our neighbour Lee(it was mine by the way, I always won the bike races, Lee, ALWAYS). |
Kris
I am a Bi+Trans geeky student who is all about Gaming, Music, Drawing, Writing, Anime, Comic books, and Web comics. Categories
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