Sometimes it is difficult to face the problem of the future. Being in my later years of university I often find myself lost. Being in university means there is expectations. Everyone assumes that they are following a path that will lead to getting that career. In actuality this sets us up for disappointment because even getting through school doesn’t mean we will get what we want. I ask myself sometimes how far I think that I will be able to go before I find myself stuck trying to figure out what to do with my life all over again.
It can be scary thinking about my goals. Everything feels like its half luck anyway. The part of me that feels that my happiness lies within simpler things has been stepping in lately. I want a home with a big yard, 2-3 dogs, 2 cats, and a quad that I can take down to the corner store. I want to keep learning about various topics of interest, to finish reading Mr.P’s literature books that he gave and suggested to me, learn my martial arts, and be able to play some musical instruments with some competence. It’s simpler than becoming a University Professor. I feel like my life is lacking now because I’m following the latter and am unsure of how long before I find myself able to find the former. Part of it is that I’m scared of loosing what I have in friends and goals if I back away from school. I have spent a decent amount of time this last year pushing people away into acquaintance status. I wonder how well I will fair one day being separated from their paths in life, turning our random hanging into something that has to be set up. It feels like gone are the days when I had a handful of friends that I felt would last over distance.
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Kris
I am a Bi+Trans geeky student who is all about Gaming, Music, Drawing, Writing, Anime, Comic books, and Web comics. Categories
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April 2016
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