There was so much bullying going on that I started lashing right back at them. A girl would pour her pop in my hair facing me while she did it, and I would immediately get up and kick her ass. First hit was hard enough that she already flew onto the ground. I got suspended every which way you could, inside or outside school suspensions, half days to five days. I even managed to get suspended for looking at another girl in my class wrong, apparently it was a hateful look I gave her.
After a while I had to write up reasons why the school should let me back in every time. I started making friends with the trouble of the school. The after school walk home was filled with groups of people threatening and itching to ‘cut me open’ and ‘curb stomp’ me. I stayed honest about what I did do and what I didn’t do, but my parents stopped believing me and my lunch hour was filled with being forced to talk to the counsellor, where she kept repeatedly asking me why I felt the need to lie about things. The principal tore my mini Wiccan altar(feathers, a small smooth rock, an incense stick and an unlit tealight) from my locker and I wasn’t allowed to bring my pentacle to school. Late in grade ten I finally found out that a friend could be someone who wasn’t insecure about being your friend. Someone who didn’t talk behind your back but defended you wholeheartedly. Someone who didn’t get upset if people were talking about how ‘close’ you seemed to be. It was also a time when a threat to my friends to leave them because I caught them bullying someone was a legitimate concern that caused them to immediately go and apologize and end the bullying permanently. I actually had some sort of value. Something that I wasn’t used to since I was a pretty lame person and always was the bottom of peoples lists of who they would want to hang out with. This managed to last for a while. I had learned to stand up for myself to my step father after there was too much differences between how my sister was treated and I was and it finally got to me. I was still used to clothes handed down from my mother, and cheap $5 flat shoes from walmart as my gym and everything else shoes while my sister always had an all new wardrobe($50 pants) and Nikes. I fought hard for my first $20 non flat bottomed runners from walmart, my stepfather and I screamed at each other, and my mother was forced to get in and do something. I also got grounded often for a week or two with no contact with the outside world other than school, when my sister got grounded for a day, from simply leaving the house. The differences were obvious.
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Since this is one of my first blogs this year(and with a Christmas break coming up) I figured it would be a good time to toss out my goals for projects this year. The following are my goals:
Book of Shadows - This will take a great deal of studying and research, but most books out there to be used as reference are clouded with a lot of the feel for Wicca and lack many spells for the already practicing wiccan. I hope to make a personalized written book of shadows this year, perhaps using scrap booking materials so that I can adjust the amount of pages and have plenty of nice space to work with. Finish a short story - This is one that I have been working on already, I have described the world and characters and written an example of a chapter of story. I am currently working on the character design because I am determined to be able to add some illustrations to it and have been playing with the concept designs. I suppose the biggest influences here come from my background in reading tons of fantasy books over the years ever since elementary school and the morbid influence that I have gained from my love of Tim Burton. Though I do enjoy anime, I have only started dabbling in drawing it in the last few months, so am going to use the illustrations as a chance to really explore the style. Web comic - Am currently trying to convince my friends to start one with me (we could partition up the jobs to keep it going!) But I guess the most reliance is on jack….and he really does wander lots… Fill half my new Art book (50pgs) - I am just finishing the last 35 pages in my old one. Cover my two Canvas’s - Must. Paint. Write some lyrics - There have been too many times where I start with humming random notes and then work my way to my own rhythm, feel, and lyrics. Must actually get down to business and write it down and see if its tolerable when taken out of the spur of the moment context. O.o I suppose It would be reasonable to have the goals to not fail my classes or become homeless either. Those I work fairly hard to maintain. Will get more bloggy, and less compulsive list making soon, promise. |
Kris
I am a Bi+Trans geeky student who is all about Gaming, Music, Drawing, Writing, Anime, Comic books, and Web comics. Categories
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