I find myself so frustrated lately, and I do promise that I will concentrate on lighter things shortly, having all these worries floating through my head right now like:
Is my younger brother really moving backwards in acceptance in my transition? Will my mother continue sabotaging me, trying to make it harder so that I give up? Is my older brother really healthy for my trans and gay friends to be around will he accept me? Will my sister cut me off from my neice and nephews? How far will my step fathers rage go? Did I really screw up my schooling beyond any hope to fix it? How many years before my student loans debt is gone? How much longer after that will I ever have credit? Will I be fifty before I can ever hope to get a mortgage for a home? Will I be in the closet at work for the rest of my life? Will I still hate myself when I start visibly changing more? Will I be ugly? Can I trust anyone to talk to... Its been so long since I've hung around with any lgbt friends, I miss the acceptance and the use of gay in any positive sense of the word. The transgender day of remembrance was painful this year, I am stuck hiding and quiet. I keep trying to get things that I have always wanted, that I used to want, because it fit in my minds picture of what my cozy dream home would hold. As if one could collect enough pieces to complete the puzzle and solve life. I find myself having a hard time seeing into a future anymore though, I go by old pictures and old lists, pretending that they are still there. All I see when I try to look to my future is a short strip of the road left. I think of all the obstacles and how I can ever live with one of them continuing negatively and it feels like It is just a matter of time before the road runs out.
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No lies, the weekend was wonderful, it has been a long time since I didn’t hate myself every single day and had to struggle with wanting a way out over dealing with so many evil fuckers. Today I had to take care of some particularly frustrating things that tend to piss me off. A big chunk would be the constant struggle for our Quiltbag (lgbt) campus group’s fight for our funding assured to us seven years ago. Months after starting the process of explaining every dollar of our budget and where it goes and in which order it will go to things, we are still being told to jump through more hoops in hopes of getting any funding. I am a peace loving hippy, but the rage and hatred they manage to get out of me is not easily abandoned. Never have I wished people to die violently as much as I have them. I spare no applause for the new variety of ways they seem find to rape us every year. We started so strong with some lgbt in the students union executive when our group was first created and it has just been downhill from there, soon we will have no support in any way from them. Already having events has been crushed this year, first our bar nights(only queer bar scene in the city) then any other on campus events, all our resources have been lost, and now any funding. We are finding no way to rebuild what we had in the very beginning seven years ago, at least with any support of our campus's students union(which is typically where our group on a campus would get funding).
Yup, so full of Rage that it’s not funny. No, seriously, I'm a Wiccan hippy. My murderous rage is not funny it feels like my soul is being tainted by this hatred. Beyond these last few years I had never wished ill upon anyone. X-Force originally had Shatterstar, Rictor, and Doop before Bloke, Phat and Vivisector even joined in. I like to overlook the fact that the X-men spinoff series is the one that’s full of the gay characters being a sign of marvels comfort, and just focus on the strange characters it comprises of. Seriously though, they need a gay bar for how many of them are floating around. ^_^
Wiccan and Hulkling, Wiccans original name was Asguardian, which his teammates decide he needs to change before local media realize that him and Hulkling are an item. :p They are a fantastic and popular couple, both being cool and sweet characters and developing a great young relationship. Their relationship continues to be portrayed more and more within the comics, kissing, bedroom innuendo, sleeping in the same bed, etc. Because they are so openly a gay couple, there is an extensive amount of fanfic written and drawn surrounding the characters. Their stories continue to develop both as an item and separately as they deal with things and figure their lives out. I hope to look forward to neither of them dying of aids, just dying at all, or breaking up to have their sexuality never being seen again and have some reassurance due to their writer being openly gay and interested in giving the next batch of teens some gay superhero role models. I would look forward to Runaways as much, but they keep killing off their characters so I just cant get attached to Karolina knowing that it is only a matter of time. An extra is Daken, a potentially queer character who is also an evil sociopath and killer. A son of Wolverine who inherited healing and bone claws and emits sexy pheromones to help him manipulate everyone including much flirted with teammate Bullseye. I'm pretty sure he is a Pansexual, gender doesn't matter, neither does being a different being, even The Thing wasn't safe from his advances. Am quite curious on how he plays out in his own series titled Daken. As for Batman and Robin, I can only feel that Dick grayson Robin might have, in a way, a complex that might involve Batman. I mean, who, when near Batman can resist the Goddamn Batman. I'm pretty sure he is one of those characters that the straight boys commonly consider their would 'go gay for' choice. Along with Neil Patrick Harris. I can only assume that Captain Jack Harkness doesn't make that list out of fear of his ability to go from normal to naked sex games in seconds. Anyway, back on topic, In Nightwings later years when confronted with a situation of walking in on a bashing of a gay cop and stepping in, was posed with the question "What are you, Grayson, his boyfriend?!" Grayson wouldn't budge on his defense and replied with a "What if I am!". Even if hes not a closeted bisexual, I love him even more. Rictor and Shatterstar are well known for their dramatic smooch and Rictor particularly had some really fun moments previous to his coming out. Shatterstars original creator claims that next time he gets a chance to get back on the Shatterstar wagon he is going to undo this all. Undoing a great deal of issues worth of 'between the lines' signs that their relationship was more than just a friendship. The creator claims that it is ridiculous that such a manly gladiator/spartan character would be gay. Kind of like how there are no gay soldiers, lumberjacks, firefighters or any burly men. O.o
Ultimate Spiderwoman is literally a peter parker clone and had a great deal of his memories meaning also a strong love and attraction for Mary Jane, which doesn't take long for Peter to realize. Without giving anything more away, I still don’t like kitty, probably even more now. Terry Berg, Green lanterns Kyle Rayners very assistant, ends up focused on for a strong story arc involving gay bashing when him and his boyfriend get attacked, Kyle becomes a mess about it, feeling that he failed Terry. Early in Terry and Kyles relationship Terry harbored quite a crush on Kyle. When Kyle was rejected by a gal he chased for a long time, Terry said something that Kyle took wrong and sent Terry off and upset. After Kyle found out that Terry was trying to be open with him about being gay and liking him, Kyle tracked him down and helped him come to terms with coming out, helping him through the process. It was believed that the gay bashing arc was to pay homeage to Matthew Shephard, also due to the resemblance. When Terry did wake from the attack, later in the hospital he found a green lantern ring copy left behind from Kyle, who left out of grief of what happened. Terry was meant to become the next big Green Lantern on earth, but stupidly asshat Hal came back 'the very next day' and Terry disappeared from writing. Gay green lantern, that would have gained an undying love from me. Vivisector and Phat (made to look like Eminem) play at a relationship to boost their reality shows ratings, then realize they can’t go forward with it anymore because they individually realize that they are gay, drop the act and admit their sexuality to each other, have a short romance, then find that their chemistry doesn't really last, perhaps because Vivi is smart and geeky and Phat is well, dumb white trash who occasionally looks like the blob. At least that is their interplay in a nutshell. Though you have to give points to Vivi for not letting Phats, at times, creepy appearance get in his way. The series they came from is actually under appreciated and has dynamic characters. I have looked into many of these characters in fairly good detail and many of them have interesting things about them in some form. Sometimes it is within what was originally planned for them, how they made history, how things had to be changed because people weren’t ready for it, or how different writers fought to make the character straight while others gay. It grew from a policy that wouldn't allow a character to ever out themselves, first outings, character not being ridiculous and creepy, them not dying of Aids or killing themselves shortly after outing, kisses, relationships, marriage, and finally portrayal of home life and suggestive scenes.
To provoke some interest here is some quick tidbits of info about some particular interesting characters, if you find one interesting you should google it for even more fun. Anole was a character who was originally created to be rejected by his homophobic parents and his friends and was to kill himself, it was going to end up furthering the character development of a straight character it would affect. They barely changed this and let Anole’s story continue, even making his family and hometown an accepting place, kind of to Northstar’s surprise. He was also mentored by both Northstar and Karma, having quite a few gay role models. Apollo married Midnighter (They look like Superman & Batman coupling) and they adopted a little girl together. Their relationship was accepted by everyone without a hitch. There wedding and living together is shown in the comic books, but during a controversial storyline, Apollo is raped, and Midnighter goes after the culprit incredibly violently. ^_^ There is also the great satisfaction of it being intentionally related and compared to Superman and Batman. Batwoman is very much a female Batman, being violent and dark but still being able to be georgous and has the look of a lipstick lesbian. She is the main character in her series which makes her pretty badass. Her character was originally created as a beard for Batman since haters were saying that Batman and Robins sharing the same bed had to stop. Bloke can change colors but apparently prefers pink, acts a bit stereotypical except for his extreme violence when in battle (beyond what wolverine is allowed to do now). Bunker is a new and exciting addition to Teen titans, being Mexican, quite cute and openly gay, and by openly gay, I may mean quite the flaming boy. Bonus of being on Red Robins team. Danny the street, is literally a sentient street (for those who didn’t catch that) meant to be the transvestite street and has very masculine stores, decorated with incredibly feminine upholstery. Graymalkin as a young boy was caught by his father experimenting with another boy and was attacked and buried alive, his mutant ability kicked in and he lived underground for hundreds of years, he has befriended Anole but still has a bit of issues and old fashioned thoughts. Alana Jobson Jackpot lived a short life, had a crush on who would come to replace her and Spider-man, who she would unknowingly confuse by being a redhead and calling Spider-man ‘Tiger’. :p Living lightning accidently outed himself to Great Lakes Avengers(GLA) member Flatman when he admitted that he was thinking of joining, but realized that GLA didn’t stand for Gay & Lesbian Alliance. Mystique is a bisexual who was in love with her long-time lover Destiny, they adopted Rogue together. They were originally supposed to be the birth parents of Nightcrawler (who is mostly quite homophobic and sometimes an ass), writers essentially felt that it would not go over well, because that would mean that mystique also would have been male having intercourse with Destiny, so they found a suitable devilish looking character to be the explained dad instead. Northstar is known as being the first gay character but wasn’t really shown as having a love life at all. He was written for a long while as dying from some scary and terrible disease and was meant to die of Aids, but they changed it to that he was really a fairy and he just had to go visit home for a bit, which healed him. Yup. They really couldn’t figure anything out about his character except that he was really really gay, and should die, but in a gay way, without having a sex or love life. No wonder he seemed a little ‘off’ later. Lets also pretend the story of the whole Aids dumpster baby never existed. Ever. Rawhide kid, in a special bunch of books released, ‘Slap stick leather’ which was marked with explicit content warnings had a very camp Rawhide kid, running around hitting on men, being exceptionally stylish, being surrounded by attractive women who wanted to sleep with him, and everyone else not understanding any of his campy gay pips. One thing that didn’t show up was Rawhide kid walking into a bar and saying “I’m looking for a man” while the bartender looks him up and down and says “I bet you are.” Unless I missed that part, in which Rawhide kid would have been thrilled. The books have no kissing, sex or even relationships, so the explicit content is a warning for Straights: This book is seriously camp. Or Gays: This book is seriously more camp than you knew existed, prepare to be offended. I liked it, seriously lol’d like I never had before, the whole damn way through. :p Yes it was like Queer eye for the straight guy at times but after a good facepalm I lol'd some more. It goes to show how straight guys view a gay man, prancing around thinking about clothes and men, hitting on them without them even knowing. Anole ~G~ (New X-men, Young X-men, Divided we stand)
Apollo, married Midnighter ~G~ (Stormwatch, The Authority) Batwoman ~L~ (Infinite Crisis, Batwoman) Bling ~B~ (New X-men, X-men Legacy) Bloke, Rainbow ~G~(X-Force) Brainiac 5~B~ (The Legion #1-31) Bunker ~G~ (Teen Titans) Creote~G~ (Birds of Prey) Colossus, Ultimate ~B~ (Ultimate X-men) Constantine, John. ~B~ (Hellblazer) Danny the Street, Literally a sentient street ~T~ (Doom Patrol) Destiny ~L~ (Uncanny X-men) Doop, Literal creature ~B~(X-Force, X-Statix) Fauna~L~ (Outsiders) Flatman~G~ (West coast avengers, Great lakes avengers) Freedom ring ~G~ (A few in, Marvel Team-up) Graymalkin ~G~ (X-men, Divided we stand) Holly Robinson, Catwoman (Catwoman, One Year Later) Hulkling ~G~ (Young Avengers, Secret Invasion) Ice maiden ~B~ (Justice League, One year later) Jackpot, Alana Jobson ~B~ (Secret Invasion w/spider-man) Jenny sparks~B~ (Stormwatch, The Authority) Jarvis, Ultimate~G~ (Ultimate Avengers) Karma ~L~ (New Mutants, Uncanny X-men) Karolina ~L~ (Runaways) Living Lightning ~B~ (West coast avengers) Marlo Chandler, The new Harpy ~Bcurious~ (The incredible Hulk) Midnighter~G~ (Stormwatch, The Authority, Midnighter) Moondragon~B~ (Avengers, Annihilation, Guardians of the Galaxy) Mystique~TB~ (X-men) Nico~Bcurious~ (Runaways) Northstar~G~ (Alpha flight, X-men) Obsidian~G~ (Justice league, Brightest day) Phat~G~(X-Force, X-Statix) Phyla-Vell, aka Quasar,~B~(4th)Captain Marvel (Annihilation, Guardians of the Galaxy) Rawhide kid~G~ (Rawhide kid Slap leather) Rictor~B~(X-Factor, X-Force, New Mutants) Sarah Rainmaker ~B~ (Stormwatch, Gen13) Savant~B~ (Birds of prey) Shatterstar ~B~ (X-Factor, X-Force, New Mutants) Spider-woman, Ultimate~B~ (Ultimate Spider-man) Spider-woman, MJ~B~ (Exiles) Starman III, Mikaal~G~ (Starman in 98’ and 2010) Strange Joe, Josie Hart~L~ (A few in: Fantastic Four) Sunfire II, Mariko ~L~ (Alternate universe-Exiles) Terry Berg, Kyle Rayners assistant ~G~ ( Green Lantern) The Question, Renee Montoya~L~ (Gotham Central, 52) Thunder ~L~ (Outsiders) Victoria Hand ~L~ (New Avengers) Vivisector ~G~(X-Force, X-Statix) Voodoo~B~ (WildC.A.T.S) Wiccan~G~ (Young Avengers, Civil War) Xavin~T~ (Runaways) This is by no means a full list, it is meant to ignore obscure or ridiculous characters, abusive closeted homophobes, or those who could have been lgbt, but were never written as such. Its for mainstream comic books with superheroes, trying to highlight important past characters and important new ones. Whether it offends some or not, despite many of the male characters being labeled gay, if they had serious female lovers I labelled them as Bi’s. I have found the 300 and counting list not useful since a great deal of it is based on rumor or opinion, and wikipedias cluttered and not updated. I didn’t include characters from Neil Gaimans work, especially Sandman, for his work includes wonderful variations of gender and sexuality throughout all of his work and deserves a list of its own. Watchmen had a great deal of lgbt characters within it as well, some obvious and some claimed potentials such as Rorschach but I don't know first hand. I tried my best to make a list, including the comics in which to look for these characters, generally for my own interest but also to give anyone checking out the list a chance to look into them, also to help me distinguish a few to invest into. X-Force was also full of gay characters. As for fairly new series that had lgbt characters and hopefully(in the case of Runaways) continuing story, I look forward to seeing more Young Avengers and Runaways. Well that's enough chatter for now, next time I will go into some interesting bits about some of the characters that really stand out. If Brett ever reads this, feel free to message me if I missed a gooder You play as the trashy looking Jimmy Hopkins who is being dumped off at Bullworth Academy so that his newly remarried mother can go on a honeymoon cruise and not have to deal with a miserable kid like you who keeps getting kicked out of schools. I honestly couldn’t stop laughing as soon as I put this game in; the audio is pretty hilariously and mean. You hear nasty comments and insults constantly throughout the game since you are tossed in the middle of the nastiest school around and after a short while it seems to be that it is more like their inner dialogue reaching you as you hear their strange quirks and secrets. It tended to shock anyone around to hear the characters running around threatening and beating up the other characters or even the quick “I’m so good at kissing, I always practice on my arm!” or “Can’t let anyone know I still do that!”. It shouldn’t have surprised me since it comes from Rockstar, the developers/publishers of Grand Theft Auto, so no surprise that you also heal through playing tonsil hockey.
So I originally picked up this game because I heard it had the great feature of you being able to kiss a jock (whom then begs you to never tell anyone) and seeing it on sale for under $5(^-^), I grabbed it for a good laugh. Jimmy, the main character is dumb, easy to manipulate, and doesn’t have much of a neck (odd looking at times) but he does grow on you. After going through some storyline I looked up info on kissing guys in the game and found that luckily you can kiss 6 of them: Trent, Gord, Vance, Kirby, Duncan, and Cornelius. This would be one character of each of the games cliques: Bullies, Preps, Greasers, Jocks, Townies, and Geeks. First off, you need to pass your first art class so that you can unlock the option of trying to kiss anyone. Yeah, I know, but I guess staring at pictures of Miss Phillips (art teacher), awakens something inside you. Unfortunately after that, you still have to finish chapter 1 to kiss anyone beyond Cornelius, which includes kissing some questionable girls(story mode) to unlock some love from the bullies. Once done, you can unlock the ability to give Trent flowers, so that you can interrupt his beating up geeks for a good make out session. The kissing scene full of moans, groans and maybe some ass grabbing, it is typical for other characters walk by, usually staring hard. As more people like you, characters might be openly adoring/envious of you and your make out partner while you exchange saliva. :p I personally wouldn’t give into making out with Cornelius, who looks like Steve Urkel, and saved myself for the angry Trent, since I just couldn’t wait for Gord. As chapters go by you will gain the love of other cliques on campus (and later loose some) and thus be able to snog a new boy. Generally you can skip out on kissing girls except through the story mode and just keep your favorite ‘boyfriend(s)’. Trent after Chapter 1 is yours and during times when you fall out of favor with other groups you can always go back to his loving/bullying arms. No shame in Trent he is probably the most open Bi boy in the game. Trent the Bully - Unlocked after Chapter I - White shirt, blonde hair “Wanna play shirts and skins?” Outside the school beating people up Gord the Prep -Unlocked after Chapter II - Prep shirt, small guy, scarf Talks about clothes and the poor. Outside Prep house or in town in Old Bull Vale, or the carnival Vance the Greaser - Unlocked after Chapter III - Leather jacket, small guy, red hair “Whats buzzin’ Cousin” Autoshop area or in town in Kirby the Jock - Unlocked after Chapter IV - Blue or grey shirt, brown hair Complains and has a huge ego. Gym area or in the football field Duncan the Townie - Unlocked late or after Chapter V - White shirt with orange circle, blonde Likes Grottos and Gremlins(D&D), may flirt with you. In the industrial part of town Cornelius the Geek - Almost always available - Green shirt, tall, black, glasses Talks about math lots. Library or outside school probably being beat up by Trent If you end up going to town, all characters will be spread out in particular parts of town, easy to grab for a quick kiss before you start a mission to boost your stats and health. Fantastically there is the achievement ‘Over the Rainbow’ which you get from kissing ‘gents’ a good 20 times. I did find it interesting that after favoring Gord for a while that Trent and Gord fought frequently. If you kiss a girl then go kiss a guy, if the girl is nearby she might kick him in the groin. I’m unsure if that’s why the guys where fighting or if it was just cause Trent likes to beat up everyone and if any prep is involved in fighting it is likely Gord. At times when respect is rocky you might want to rely on the percentages of respect from the different cliques to figure out who you can make out with. I love how this game has a wide open world that you can travel in and that there are not too many errands (tiny quests) or constant storyline. Once you know your way around the area and how the prefects work the game is pretty fun since everything is up to you. There isn’t much you want to do with different clothes but since money is easy to come by you might as well get an interesting outfit or spend half of the game in a ridiculous costume(though good luck kissing anyone). Overall it was a fun game, though I bought it and played it through strictly because I craved a game with some queerity to it. I can see why people feel it is a classic, it was funny and everyone is a jerk. Except Trent, after you kiss him he pretty much loves you saying things like “This is just like some romance movie”… (Then maybe saves his rep by)… “Uhhhh, I’m such a player” lol. Sure you are Trent, sure you are. |
Kris
I am a Bi+Trans geeky student who is all about Gaming, Music, Drawing, Writing, Anime, Comic books, and Web comics. Categories
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