I learned about sex a bit young. I remember times listening to my mom and her friends talking about different things around the house being used as a makeshift dong and I remember my step fathers grotesque jokes. Mostly along the lines of women loving the cock and they are horny wenches who just want to suck some cock and get slammed. I remember a movie I watched when I was young, before I was 12 even that really imprinted into my mind about it. It was a movie about a young frustrated native girl. Her parents would have their parties. Kids are expected to greet and not be shy to guests. When she was in her room later that night a good friend of her family came into her room and threatened then raped her. She couldn’t deal with everything and got into drugs. Eventually she felt she couldn’t live a life anymore, feeling lost, she hung herself to death. When I moved from B.C. to here, I found myself in a different situation. My stepfather is a charismatic drinker. They would hold large parties. Usually on the porch and in the back yard, with the booze and munchies inside the house. Sometimes there were 40-80 people. Multiple times strange men would stumble into my room. Worst was that even when I yelled that it was my room and to get out, they more frequently started to move further into the room or go to close the door behind them. It was only after I threatened them, told them that I would scream and fight if they came any closer, that they would stop and leave. I started getting paranoid about these times and after a good half dozen of these times, started sleeping in my closet during these parties. I warned my friends about men and rape and got to hear from them when they experienced it. I started hearing and noticing all the twisted and dark parts of the world that I lived in. I started to become quiet and listened lots. Parents would talk around me, my friends would spill on everything so that they could get advice from me. I couldn’t believe how they shrugged off the molesters, rapists and abusers. By fourteen I may or may not have felt that men were creeps. I had a rare crush before I hit the age of 18 on an actual guy. Otherwise when my drive did hit, it had a great interest in J-lo and women. Strange thing, sitting in a room with a girl talking about things and them telling me that I was lucky. At least I knew men wanted me. ?? At 12 I don’t want a 30-50 year old guy to rape me. I didn’t enjoy it. I never liked their advances. I didn’t like them cornering me or trying to touch me. It wasn’t like I said, “Awwww, you wanna fuck me! J That’s sweet! I am so happy you find my little 12 year old prepubescent body sexy. I will remember this in high school and it will give me confidence in myself that you just had to have me so badly.” Girls are fucked up. Seriously.
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Kris
I am a Bi+Trans geeky student who is all about Gaming, Music, Drawing, Writing, Anime, Comic books, and Web comics. Categories
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April 2016
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