Man.
Be proud you are the privileged who don’t have to worry about the problems that a woman faces. What do you think about what a boy goes through as he is raised? Boys. You live under the threat of being the sissy, pussy or wimp. You cant play with dolls, you cant like purple or pink. Upon mention, ensure that your disgust is believable. You cannot pretend to be or idolize a female character without being told you cant or receiving laughter even from the adults around. You must grow up fast, shake off the fall, ignore the scrapes and bruises, cant be hugged too much or you will grow up weak. You must not complain. You grin and bear it. Hope you grow up tall, too short and you will never find someone to date. Too thin and you will be considered a dork. Avoid your mothers and keep your distance or be branded a mommas boy and teased. Cant cry. Hair too long and your masculinity will be stripped from you as guys smirk and call you miss. Cant talk too much and share what’s on your mind for fear of being told how you are such a girl. Don’t ever let a girl stick up for you. Waiver and you get beat up. Suck it up. Pathetic, you cant even take a punch. Your life will be a fight to maintain enough masculinity for your parents to not give you a hard time. All you need now is to hear the worry in their voice as they start getting involved. All you need is for them to give you advice. You are pathetic. Too many fuck ups make you a girl or fag. If you cant party then you are lame, must be able to hold your alcohol, must keep drinking, hopefully you wont pass out and they draw dicks on your face with permanent marker. Hope an acceptable girl takes a fancy to you in high school so that you wont be called a cocksucker. Pray all class the teacher doesn’t ask you to come up and solve the equation. Hope no one realizes why you stayed in the classroom late. Hope no one noticed your boner. Hope no one realizes what and who you were thinking when you got it. Crap! This doesn’t happen to guys who get laid. You cant just be friends with a girl, you have to see them as an object, what are you? Gay!? Hope that you are not smaller than the guys in your class, hope your pubes have filled out as much as everyone else’s. Talk the talk walk the walk. Quickly loose the V-card before every loser in your class does before you. Don’t slip up. Don’t fuck up. The guys say its easy to please a girl, to make them moan, they are really hoes under it all. They bow to the cock. Don’t screw up. Cant you get it up? Not too soon……… not too late. Are you done yet? You are so awkward are you sure you have ever been with a girl those other times? Not yet! Think of trees, flowers, don’t be a minute man again she will think you are always like this. Now is where it gets easy, here is your life plan, high school-date girls, finish school, sleep around and figure out this sex thing, job, wife, house, kid, dog…got it? Its easy.
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<rant>
Like any person I have my own personal weaknesses. I have opinions, I have passions. Its obvious that all of them don’t meld with popular opinion. I would be a feminist with my respect for women, sexism and inequality. Once I hit puberty it was like the world lost its interest in helping me fulfil my interests. I still don’t understand why I couldn’t live my dream and become a knight. Everyone kept trying to straighten me out and push me to become someone I was uncomfortable with being. I was yelled at for not wanting to dress like someone I wasn’t. Women are bodies, they are on display to be looked at and evoke interest. I can barely see any women around my age without seeing them in categories. I don’t mind hoes, at least they are honest and aware of being looked at. I just don’t like it when some go on about drama or feminism. Feminists around here get into the habit of complaining too much and not listening to themselves or others. I would have continued my interest in woodwork if I had had the chance back in high school, pressure pressure pressure.. I have watched my mother be treated like some idiot wife. I have faced living with a guy who expected me to stay at home and not socialize but to try to study quietly at home while the boyfriend ate at his computer every night. A guy who couldn’t manage to keep up with chores or cleaning. I have watched girls treat good guys like shit because they are guys without ever knowing much about them. I have heard their rants about which abortion clinic was really great and didn’t make them feel guilty at all, at the amount that they knew it was like this was their main form of birth control. I suppose the pill makes you gain some weight, so its useful to go the abortion path, I mean you would likely loose some weight after something like that…uh.. I mean like beyond the baby pounds. I was tempted on numerous occasions to start leaving coat hangers on the door of the women’s group on campus. A bunch of middle class white chicks talking about how big the ring their guy just gave them, how they bought this great $200 tea dress to celebrate, how its awful that people still aren’t supportive of abortions and how men are terrible sexist things. I like kids but despise how many men cant grasp the mommy things like diapers, socks, snacks and a jacket. I also think that girls are real twats about raising their children. Its been within women’s ability to start changing opinions through their child rearing but they still treat their children differently based on sex. They start helping their girls get a grasp on everything, even getting them to start with child rearing, becoming attuned to others emotions, cooking, cleaning, and multitasking. The boys still young find themselves segregated and expected to figure things out on their own or idolize their father who tends to not be present. So of course they end up different. What else do they have left than to end up filling up their time with either ideas of masculinity or other boys off tying to find their places as well. Should I be sorry for blaming the mother of a 17 year old boy who cannot do laundry or cook his own food? In some cases it feels like it should be known cases of neglect. I know many guys who have deep insecurities surrounding things that if ever discussed would never have been issues. Have watched them turn out aggression and passive aggression because they could not release the emotions or talk about it. Once again a new generation moulded to fit old stereotypes with little wiggle space. I have fought with my gender and women’s professor for a lengthily time over a list of what checks would need to be fine for a community to be gender equal. There were no checks for males. My father fought for partial custody of his three kids. My stepmother an alcoholic. He paid everything for her and for the kids while the kids remained with him anyway. He was a workaholic and ill prepared to suddenly be faced with having to help them get through a divorce while he still held a broken heart. In his eyes he had failed at life. For his marriage was done. We weren’t the easiest to understand and take care of. I never had a conversation with my father until I was nearly 18 my siblings at least connected much before that. Work doesn’t give any freedom, why would men have to worry about kids or their family, expectations are that if you have kids you have a wife that takes care of them. Time expectations are high. </rant> Since it has become a fad to talk about some younger years I just decided that it would be better than just venting out anger everywhere. I am made of anger. And love, its so confusing. So heres my life in a nutshell, will find some time to come back and add some doodles of me and my shi
My mom was an awesome single mom, teaching my brother and I how to be capable, supporting, and unique. I suppose she was the epitome of a strong woman in my eyes and I had a great deal of respect for her. We lived in B.C. which was beautiful and still held so much of the wild when I was young. My family would go pick apples and berries, my mother would bake delicious things and we enjoyed fresh fruit and vegetables. It felt so pure. I would go on adventures being the leader to my two very tall cousins and many of the neighbourhood boys(previous to their parent realizing I was the cause of the ‘adventures‘ and them being banned from following me around all the time), searching for strange creatures among the wildlife just outside town the minute anyone left us alone. We managed to wander through deer, moose and bear territory unharmed day after day. Enjoying picnics while I was searching for the perfect bear to become my perfect steed or building a raft big enough for a group of us to go traveling. Sadly due to what has led to the failure of feminism for many years, my mom felt the need for a man and he became central. We ended up picking up and moving to Manitoba loosing my brother Michael, and gaining two brothers and a sister into my life. In Manitoba there seemed to be much less adventuring to be done. The wildlife wasn’t just right around the next tree or hill. Though I did enjoy swimming in and drinking(ergh) what is now called the beaver pond, and chasing white tailed deer and being one with nature, it was limited. Perhaps from the lack of mountain lions and bears near, I got lonely and started to develop a love for books, particularly fantasy. I ran out of books swiftly and numerous times picked up and read my mothers books, which I just couldn’t fully keep up with(like Anne McCaffrey with her style & sex and Piers Anthony with his extensive puns). I took a great deal of pleasure at this time working with my step father in his wood shop building things. I learned how to work hard and work with tools. Though I did like biking and fighting over who had authority in our area of town with our neighbour Lee(it was mine by the way, I always won the bike races, Lee, ALWAYS). |
Kris
I am a Bi+Trans geeky student who is all about Gaming, Music, Drawing, Writing, Anime, Comic books, and Web comics. Categories
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