So, this will be my first attempt to type up what may have been the scariest day of my life. I was at a friend/acquaintances place when I came across one of my mother’s status updates that freaked me out. It was a coax to a friend of the family to come home, that everyone was getting worried that they were missing. I started texting my mom right away, having some anxiety that they might be taking off out of town and I might not have another opportunity to see them. I started calling and texting. Something felt wrong and I found out that my step father was actually driving around town in hopes to track him down. As embarrassing as it was to really bug my step father about coming with him I kept texting him. Tea club dissipated and instead of catching a ride home I felt a need to walk. I walked straight to the mall nearby. I was watching for the red car that my friend was supposed to be in. I was feeling sick and couldn’t pass a red car without making sure it was at least empty. Was he with friends hiding out so that he wouldn’t have to deal? Taking off right out of town? Or was he just sitting in the car with the weight of his problems?
I felt stupid, people probably think that I’m looking for unlocked cars, but I continue to the mall, but I don’t feel right, I can’t distract myself at all. I feel like I’m going to see him soon, run right into him. I would give him a solid punch to the arm for scaring people. I feel so embarrassed that I still feel sick and cant distract myself, I had stuff I should pick up but I can't. Every time I stop for a minute I feel like I’m going to throw up, I had to be outside. I keep walking, Timmies, everyone loves Timmies. No luck, I keep checking the parking lot. I walked over to the far corner of the lot where the semi's park and I hear it. “Oh my god! Someone call 911!” I ran over right away. In my mind it hit me that it was a red car, but it still felt like it couldn't be my friend. I got around to the drivers side fast as they opened the door and reached in to pull out my friend. There was blood everywhere. They kept saying his name over and over, now all of them freaking out and calling 911. They were sobbing and talking to the dispatcher while I checked him over. A few tears came to me, this was my friend, feeling like this was the only way out or at least the least painful way. The whole thing was what you would expect in a horror movie. He was covered in blood along with half the car. Thick gashes up both of his arms, deep cuts spread wide open as if someone started to use him for dissection. With throat slit and multiple arteries hit, there was blood all over the car. His arms were too much of a mess to try to start getting him clean. The best we could hope for is keeping him conscious and stopping the bleeding. We lucked out that everyone found him when we did. Most of the cuts were clotting and he managed to keep conscious. I kept track of what I could, watching his breathing, checking his pulse, and checking his skin for changes, what I could remember about my first aid training. His sister came over to watch him and I kept an eye on everything to make sure there were no changes. Once the paramedics arrived I reassured his family that I felt he would be fine and was doing good, and asked if I could catch a ride with them to the hospital, explaining finally who I was. Once I was at the hospital I just broke down. I have lost too many people I love, and almost lost him too. So many times he had tried to talk to me in the past months. I would talk to him then, but outside then I stayed away. Through ups and downs with his spouse, I felt I would only complicate his life. We had first met when he was around 14, I suppose I was 9, he had started working for my step father and was on his own already. Though I was quiet and shy he was nice to me. He became a part of our family(which tends to take in people with no family) in no time at all and he treated me better than anyone I knew. In fact, when some of my peers started taunting me when I was with him he shut them down. He started talking to me whenever he was stressed or trying to figure out life, not saying much to most of his peers. I was quiet but very observant because of it and was able to give him pretty good advice when he needed it. He was definitely considered to be fresh meat even at 17 and had quite a bit of attention. He tended to loose his shirt at parties and women tried to get into his pants all the time. I'm unsure of when but eventually I noticed him too. It was a bit odd for me that he could be so pretty. I suppose it was through having an intimacy with him of sorts that I developed my first guy interest. Don't get me wrong though, he was one of the few I could trust and never peeved out on me. My siblings and step father would try to bug me about him to see if I ever fancied him like the other girls, but it never worked on me. No one really knew that I adored him so much. He must have been about 19 when he started dating a new girl that he really ended up sticking with, this was when we just stopped talking regularly. It had been depressing to loose touch and have to be like strangers when I saw him after that. It had only been the beginning of this last summer when we had some good chats. After he tried to end his life I would wake up every day and just start feeling worse and worse until I saw him. Over those next two weeks I went early to see him and stayed late in the evenings until I had to run off to work. Its not that I thought something bad was going to happen that caused the anxiety though. It was just that between what had happened and almost loosing him it was like my heart couldn't take not being near them. As if I couldn't really function anywhere else, when they were in the room I finally could relax. They fulfilled my selfish requests and insisted I was always welcome. Over time I was able to calm the anxiety more and let them resume their life more. One day in the hospital I heard him try to recall anything from the day and he told everyone that at this one point he had felt so comforted and soothed by whoever it was talking to him. To my thrill he described when I was talking with him and he asked everyone who it had been. I kept quiet and was happy that I had actually gotten through to him, I had told him that I wanted him to hold on because I couldn't stand to loose him again. I'm happy that I was able to be there for him. As horrific as it was to see someone I love so much almost die in front of me, at least I was forced to show I really cared and we managed to reconnect. Over the past few months I have enjoyed hanging out with him and getting to know his kids.
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Kris
I am a Bi+Trans geeky student who is all about Gaming, Music, Drawing, Writing, Anime, Comic books, and Web comics. Categories
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April 2016
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