My depression still got bad, so bad that in grade 11 I finally told my parents that I couldn’t control it anymore. I ended up having to go on meds. They worked but I just couldn’t keep taking them consistently. I kept being told it was a weakness to take them and that it was pathetic so in the end they stopped working because I was off and on them for too long.
Finally just after I turned 17, an opportunity to move out of the house was before me. I was starting my final year of school and working about 30 hours getting paid under minimum wage and I could barely scrape by if I moved out but I could, potentially. It turned into an internal fight(and often external) for my mother not wanting her child out so young, and wanting to get me out so that life was easier, since my step father and I fought constantly. In the end I declared that I didn’t want to leave until I was done high school, and was told from my step father since this was a choice, that things were going to change around the house now. The look on his face was full of glee, he started listing off the ‘new and improved rules’. This threat was the last straw, so I left. Money was tight, I had off and on roommates, most of which never paid rent. I spent most of those first few months pretty messed up. I was the one with a place to drink at. The minute my shift was over, it was a minute walk to smoking and drinking up a storm. I only had one rule, you can smoke it or drink it at my place as long as you offered to share with me. After a while a guy friend of ours started coming around, I got pressured by my friends into dating and eventually, loosing my virginity to him. He was verbally and emotionally abusive, and incredibly violent. In a flash of movement he went from handling something on the floor, leaned over, to smashing things against the wall inches from my face, me flinching as the debris hit me. He was full of drama and would scream at me constantly till I was crying in a corner of the room. When he was raging he didnt care about pain, if he was bleeding it just meant he was allowed to scream at me louder. I found out that one of my close friends, Beck was screwing him and I knew they could have told me before I had given up my virginity to him. I had told my friends weeks before that I was finally going to appease them and loose it. Beck declared it to me in the restaurant in front of other customers a few days after I was virginity free. There was so much happiness written all over their face, this was the way Beck defeated her friends. So shortly after while rumors were flying, I broke my hand punching a wall instead of Beck's face, and dropped out of high school. I broke up with the asshole I had been dating and his good friend started treatening to call the cops when he would come over to find him screaming at me and trashing the place while I just tried to stay out of the way. The asshole finally left but not before ripping me off, complaining to the landlord and smashing up my place and its contents. He screamed at me that he would tap out all of his resources and connections to ensure that I was tortured well before I would be allowed to die, and to expect it soon.
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Kris
I am a Bi+Trans geeky student who is all about Gaming, Music, Drawing, Writing, Anime, Comic books, and Web comics. Categories
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April 2016
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