Hurray for procrastination! I should really be studying or writing essays right now. But I feel the call to blog once again. Also I feel like a blog a lot less than anyone else because I'm pretty consumed by other things at the moment. So my big annoncement of the week is: I've got contacts! Yay! They feel sooo weird. I feel like I shouldn't be able to see because I'm not wearing my glasses, but I can. This results in me being slightly dizzy for the first five minutes of wearing them, and a lot of trying to push up my glasses that aren't actually there.
I'm thinking that I will relocate for studying soon, as my roommate has a friend over, and it's really distracting trying to study when I hear a lot of chattering in a foreign language. I apolegize for the randomness. I'm still unsure about how much I should reveal on this blog. I really hate spilling my guts, but when I'm doing it to a faceless computer screen, it seems a lot easier. So I'm thinking I should do first things first, and part 2 of coming out? Ok, here we go: Coming out to my friends happened rather sporadically. Coming out is a continuous thing. You can't just do it once and get over it. I came out to a few close friends before coming out to my family, but after coming out to my family, It was time to come out in a more personal way than over facebook to a select group, being my close friends from high school. Did I mention I was a total church kid in high school? My church was pretty great with the whole tolerance thing, but I was still pretty terrified. I really wish I was brave enough to come out to some of my friends in person while I was home for Christmas break, but I did live 45 minutes out of town, and it was hard to actually get into town and see my friends, especially considering the road conditions. Also not all of my friends were home for Christmas. So coming out via the phone was really the best option for me. I'm not really sure what I was expecting, but my friends were all really amazing. The general response seemed to be "You know my views on the subject, but I still support you and love you". And that was really all I wanted. After coming out to everyone who needed to be informed via more personal mediums, I came out via facebook, to let all those random acquaintances know. I was really sick of hiding who I was and I really saw no reason why my sexual orientation should be something that I hid, like I was ashamed of it. I have to say, I've never really experienced overt homophobia, just some minor misunderstandings. I will probably post a rant that I wrote in creative writing about misconceptions about bisexualism, in particular bisexual women on here at a later date. But coming out is still the most terrifying thing I have to do every time I do it. I may seem calm on the outside, but usually my heart is racing overtime. I never know how new people are going to react. And occasionally, people's reactions can be frustrating, but not overtly homophobic, just ill-informed. ex. "Oh so you'll make out with girls? That's so hot." Everyone thinks of coming out as something that happens once and then its done. But unless you're a famous celebrity, you have to keep doing it, and keep having that anxiety, and keep being afraid of people's reactions for the rest of your life. But to be open and honest about who you are and not have to hide things, it is completely worth it.
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T-Girl
The one with estrogen. Bisexual, student, poet. Intrigued? Well good thing there's an entire blog for you to read then. Archives
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